04-24-2020
Yesterday was a bit rough, but still manageable when hearing about others’ side effects, making me feel blessed. I mostly had lower intestinal issues, but by the evening it was tolerated.
I did need to take a nap, which lasted for a couple of hours. Since I’m still not sleeping through the night— naps, I suspect, will be my friend.
Drinking lots of water and coconut water to help flush out the chemo drugs had me getting up to the bathroom a few times each night, but the real kicker was my middle dog Ginger who has decided to be my guardian as of late.
Ginger likes to be petted and touched, but has never been a cuddly dog. She tends to get hot, (like me), and typically finds sleeping under the bed her go-to place for staying cool. Since Tuesday, when I had the treatment, she has decided to sleep right next to me, with her head next to mine, which then makes me hot and unable to sleep. She is also a kicker when she moves around, and she pushes her feet to move what is near her, which was me last night, so it was a bit like wrestling a sumo athlete at times since she tends to sleep really hard and deep.
I felt bad, but I had to have her get off the bed, and since I was awake, a trip to the bathroom was in order, and as soon as I got back in bed, she jumped up next to me again. We did this dance for a couple of hours last night, and while I appreciate her wanting to be near, it causing me to lose sleep. Silly dog.
I have yet to figure out why my dogs need to sleep on my side of the bed! Probably never will.
For the history books, we are living in a time with the Covid19 virus that is akin to science fiction, and with a president that is telling people to use disinfects in their bodies and light to kill the germs. The FDA and Lysol had to issue warnings not to put any disinfectants in your body! This is a world of backwards craziness that will take generations to overcome. I only hope people don’t follow his comments and try to drink or inject cleaning products.
A man in Arizona has already died following Trump’s instructions from his previous suggestions about hydroxychloroquine being a cure. He and his wife, (who survived), used fish tank cleaner that contained something similar to “protect” themselves from the virus because, “The president said it would work.” Sigh.
This is my stay at home angst; worrying about others in the world being misguided by a man that says he is not a doctor, but keeps coming up with these things. It makes no sense, and yet people believe him, and so I worry.
There is such a great divide between political parties right now and I find it sad that everyone feels they have to be right. We are all together in this, we are all a part of mankind, and whatever anyone believes, pretty much all faiths have a tenet of respecting life, or they should.
To this I quote, underlining the part that matters most:
'No Man is an Island'
No man is an island entire of itself; every man
is a piece of the continent, a part of the main;
if a clod be washed away by the sea, Europe
is the less, as well as if a promontory were, as
well as any manner of thy friends or of thine
own were; any man's death diminishes me,
because I am involved in mankind.
And therefore never send to know for whom
the bell tolls; it tolls for thee.
John Donne
It’s what we should all adhere to in our search for peace with whatever power drives each of us to face each day.
People are so angry trying to be “right,” trying to get their ducks in a row, but as a James Taylor fan, I think it helps to consider a few of the lyrics of the song, Sun on the moon:
“In line, in line, it's all in line
My ducks are all in a row
They do not change, they do not move
They have nowhere to go,”
The point being, if you have a closed mind, you can’t learn, instead we should allow others to be who they are without judgment, or you will be stuck in disappointment and sorrow when celebration of life should be the goal.
Having to face my own mortality with breast cancer, and as a senior citizen, gives way to living in peace with others, and I want my “ducks” to have the freedom to be the best version of themselves that I can give them, which means allowing kindness for myself and others.
That clearly doesn’t mean to ignore science and facts to report what is happening with the virus, following the guidance of those scientists, and doing our part as part of man and womankind to get us past what is happening, without selfishness and loving all, no matter what color, race, religion or gender.
Peace and love should be the answer now.